Brooding

Sometimes I wish I wasn't one of the adults in my famiy. My friend Maggie said she sometimes says to herself, "who's the adult in this situation? Oh no, it's me!"
It's hard to have the presence of mind to pray throughout the day with demanding little ones. Too often, I don't find the time to get alone to pray, and can't seem to spend my day being with God as I go along either. It's then I find myself not my best with my kids, with my husband, friends, with anyone, and even worse inside my head.

But that moment after a child falls asleep is a great time to pray. I brood over the child.
I don't know why, but on days when I can't muster patience, just after his eyes close, love rushes in again. I see him more clearly. I can look back on the day and see it more clearly.



I pray for sweet dreams, for health and safety, for this growing heart, for the trials of the day. Then I can ask for wisdom, bring to my God all my questions, the patterns I can't get out of, my worries and fears and tightly held hopes. Let go of stuff. Grab onto better stuff. Listen. Thank God for this child.