A Year Ago Today

The joy of discovery

First time holding

Hanging out together

Ezra said, "I didn't know he would be like this."

Eyes Open

Ezra's first day as a big brother

Lots of holding, resting, cuddling

Labor; here with Jessica

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 I was poor and needy.  I was in great distress.  I cried to God, and he delivered me and rescued me from death.  Here I am in the land of the living!  With great joy I thank God; for life, for breath, for this baby! 

Thank you thank you thank you.

William Moses Johnson, born May 5, 2011, Thanks be to God!

You have grown so much, Willem!  We love you so!

On Kitchens and Babies

So with teething and winter colds and fevers, I've been thinking about survival strategies; how life works with a gaggle of kids.  Two little ideas, new to us, that I've been enjoying lately:
--We put a rocking chair in the kitchen!  No, we don't have a big kitchen.  I do have to move the rocking chair constantly to get to the pantry, but this has been worth it.  When the baby's crying, but I can't stand to miss dinnertime, when Paul's finally home after a long day of work for all of us, I can nurse or rock the baby, and enjoy the happy company of the family at the same time.

Pretty and Happy: so content I drew a picture!

--Put the baby in the sink.  Baby has to be old enough to sit up quite competently, Mama has to be attending closely, and won't be able to do this at all once baby starts trying to climb the dish rack!
When I came up with this,  I was too tired to pop him on my back, and he was too crabby with teething and congestion to do anything else at all.  The situation with dirty dishes was becoming catastrophic.  I gave up one basin, filled the dish tub with warm water, and had a happy companion.  I gave him choice utensils and a wet rag to suck on. Once I discovered this, we started doing it all the time!

--An old idea, for us: put the baby on a back.  This is my number one coping mechanism for caring a baby while homeschooling.  So, first I take care of baby dear: nurse, feed, potty, clothe, warm.  Then baby plays. (and we can do other things!) On the floor, on a blanket, dancing to some fun music, with the cat door, a shoe, whatever he seems interested in.  When baby dearest has had it with playing, he's usually happiest if I put him on my back.

I've really mastered the technique of getting him up there, and I confidently assert that he's really secure.  (psst-- I'll bike with a kid on my back like this!)  He may complain a bit at first, but often just snuggles right in.  It's nice if I can do something that involves a little motion, to lull him a bit.  Once he's happy, I can sit down and do bookwork with the boys!

Funny and Real

Basket of Eggs

Baby, you were so worth it! I worried so much. That birth was so hard.
You are so beautiful. I love you.
I wrote this while pregnant, hopeful and wondering about the child to come, trying not to count my chick before he hatched.


Crafted slowly, tenderly thoughtfully
this one is gilded, beauty-bright

This, covered in sugared violets, sparkles
in the Easter breakfast light.

Here, fern-green, unfurling fronds wrap around
this one, dark red, a soaking, velvet crimson.
This plain one, warm, hums like a honey bee.
One dew-damp from the morning chill,
another ringed with a quadrille of curliques

They nestle in the straw
in a circle softly mother-lined.

Behold! Tokens of inner wealth
glory-filled
vigil-waited
sunrise-light---

yet what's inside,
the treasure lasting,
is not ours yet,
till in our hand.

Polaroids, new baby survival skills

Well, awesome Paul has found a way of making his old (old, old) Polaroid camera work again. I love how iconic and vintage the pictures look, as if viewed through decades. They are already nostalgic to me because the last time I saw Polaroids was when I was little, so the flaws of the images look to me like the essence of childhood.
Life with a baby; how does one do it? I met a family at the beach with nine children. I want to know: what are their secrets? They didn't look like they were at their wits' ends. They seemed happy and un-desperate, but didn't share the magic beans with me.

Willem is the sweetest baby. He is a daisy, a lamb, a child already. I delight in him, and cherish holding and caring for him. But I can't put him down! He sleeps wonderfully throughout the day, but wakes up in bare minutes if I put him down. He loves to sleep wrapped on to me with cloth, but I can't chop vegetables that way, knead bread, clean the bathroom, do anything that requires two hands in front of me.

When he does get into a deep sleep, I find myself paralyzed with all the things I could be doing! Beginning tasks is getting harder, as the interruptions are constant!
I've done this before--former me, how did you do it? Oh yeah, I cried a lot.

William Moses

So, William Moses arrived! A while ago now, and just finding the time to post now. It has been beautiful. The birth, thank God was quite and agony and an ecstasy, and both I and the baby were remarkably unscathed. He nurses and sleeps and smiles, and we are overflowing with thankfulness. And relief! Many thanks to all who help us, and pray for us, and love us.
Willem has soft brown downy hair. He has almost-brown looking-eyes. They look and look and look, in wonder at all things. He has a little rosebud mouth, which likes to smile. He has a soft voice, with which he talks to us once in a while.

Willem's big brothers are wonderful. they are laughing, jumping, swinging, dancing, drawing, singing, and creating their way through summer. I have been treated to breakfast in bed, and the baby is constantly regailed with songs and smiles. He is oh-so-loved already. We are stretching into our new size as a family, and learning how to live again with a baby. I am attending to enjoying and being present to each beautiful member of our family. Noticing and soaking up who they are today. I hope that out of this, which itself is an abiding in the presence of God, will come a new rhythm for our days. I'm winging it day by day.

I am feeling a familiar lowering of spirits; a vulnerability, a neediness of the heart for cheer and love and joy. I remember, just as in birth itself, to sink into it rather than clench against it or work to overcome it. Acknowledge the rain, and open my eyes.

Don't Worry- We'll let you know!

Waiting can be hard. We know.
We're all ready to go!
Really quite well prepared.
I promise, we'll let you know when there's anything to share.

He's a Kid

Recently, we turned Ezra's car seat around. Little babies' car seats face the rear of the vehicle. When they get to a certain size, you've got to turn them around. Because of this and many other reasons, Gibbie has ruled that his brother is no longer a baby. We may not refer to him as such. "But he's not a baby; he's a kid," he explains.This is a long-awaited development. It was a moment of joy when Gibbie realized for the first time that Ezra wouldn't always be a baby, but was growing into a child, just like him. We had a lot of "is Evra a kid, yet?" conversations. Gibbie has decided that the wait is over.

Our dear Ever is turning out to be a book hound just like the rest of his family. Just as we are finally R-T-G (ready to go!) I turn and see little Ezra, booted, hatted, and mittened, with a small volume clutched between his mitts. He likes all kinds of books, and has a rotating stock of favorites. He so adores our Puff the Magic Dragon ("rah-rah, guh. dah"), a Christmas gift from Grammers, that he reaches up towards the high shelf where we keep it to prevent it's being torn again. He tries to climb the shelf, and croons along with the song when we finally read it.
Ezra is on the cusp of speech. The explosion is coming. He has many words, which he uses infrequently and which only those well acquainted with him can interpret. He toddles around the corner in search of Papa, book in hand, saying, "Reee, booh." If Papa doesn't respond quickly, he takes Paul's hand and gently places the book into it. Books are already his diversion, his joy, his succour and refreshment. We're just going to have so much fun here.

Last of Ezra's Crawling

We're proud of our little Ezra's new walking skills of course, but I must admit we'll miss his unique way of crawling. Everyone who knows him seems to have grown to love his method of tripedal locomotion with one leg up and one leg under. (The underside leg actually has a callous from all of its use!)

Here's some footage I shot of what may be some of the last of his special crawl. He's walking most of the time now and I'm sure it won't be long before that crawl of his is gone for good!

Hendricks Adoption

Our friends Kevin and Abby Hendricks are in the early process of adopting a child from Ethiopia. I guess it costs about as much as one year of St. Olaf education cost us, so that's quite a bit.

Go Kevin and Abby!

This is the way the Babies Ride

I s'pose these rhymes are old as the hills, as I learned them on my Grandma's knees. Our kids like them too! This first is a rhyme for bouncing baby (or any little one) on the knees. On the last verse, baby leans back upside down. I've found I know right away whether or not a babe is ready for this kind of fun.

This is the way the children ride--clip...clop...clip....clop...
This is the way the ladies ride--trit, trop, trit, trot...
This is the way the gentleman ride-- trim trim trim trim trim...
This is the way the huntsman ride--gallupa-gallupa-gallupa-gallupa...
This is the way the farmers ride! GALLUPA! GALLUPA! GALLUPA! GALLUPA!
and THIS is the way the BABIES ride-- Wheeeeeeee! Wheeeeeeee! Wheeeeeee!
And there's one for tickling little feet. I stick my finger into the sole of the lil foot as if sticking in nails during the first bit, and slap the soles of the feet at the very end.
Stick a nail here, stick a nail there,
Stick a nail here, stick a nail there,
Shoe the old horsey, shoe the old mare,
but let the little pony go bare, go bare!
Of course, we have a little sing-song-y way of doing each rhyme. Sure, it's a lesson in rhyming, vocabulary, metered verse, memorization, music, rhythm. Primarily, though, it's a chance to laugh and giggle and squeal; and that's good for everyone. Right now, the older brother in the house is particularly delighted with anything that makes the little brother laugh and laugh, and the little one lives to make his brother do just that.
Ride a cock-horse to Banbury Cross,
Meet a fine lady upon a white horse;
with Rings on her fingers and bells on her toes,
she shall have music wherever she goes!

Family Coffee Date: J&S Bean Factory at Hamline and Thomas

We love our coffee shops. We used to love spending whole evenings lounging around in them, reading aloud to each other, staring deeply into eachothers' eyes, working on our own quiet projects, critiquing the art, bantering with the baristas. Ah, the happy golden days! Well, we still care about good coffee, independent ownership (we're not really herd animals, if you know what I mean), and good atmosphere.

But now child and baby-friendly bathrooms are a veritable necessity, along with toys or really fun outdoor seating. When we have the luxury; nay, the scarce but necessary time for coffee-shoppin', we look for a place Paul and I can talk (and enjoy ourselves; ixnay on the acDonald'sMay unParkFay) where the kids will have fun too. J&S Bean Factory Makes the Cut.
Things we like about J&S Hamline and Thomas: (different from their Randolph Avenue sister store, which Paul can tell you is good for high school kids in the early morning, but not so much for wee lil 'babes)
-Good toy area!
-Bathroom is closeby, with diaper changing station
-consistently good coffee, okay baked goods rockin' awesome sandwiches and soups from Acme and Xanders'
-right next to a great knitting shop (okay, only Libby cares about that, but in the knitting shop, there is a nice lil' ramp between the front and back rooms, which the kids love to crawl up and down. The shop's staff are indulgent of this wildness.)
-breastfeeding friendly environment
-real art on the walls, that actually changes every so often
-friendly, chatty baristas
-some outdoor seating
-accessible via bus: the 67 runs within two blocks and the 16 within four blocks
-accessible via bike: great bike rack (it's hidden!) and bike paths run on Minnehaha, two blocks away
Ezra loves to crawl on chairs, especially if Gib is already on them.

We're not so much into:
-not much privacy (we have a penchant for secluded nooks)
-the kids' area is a tad dim, and doesn't always have outlet covers, though outlets are covered by toys
-the kids' books are mostly lame-o, not that our kids have noticed
-If there's already someone in the play area, like, say, a parent's group or someone else's play date, it doesn't work so well, but this would be true anywhere
-there's not much not to like; we've been hitting this one a fair bit lately!
This is a "city" we built. We used every last one of these great blocks. Most of the toys at J&S are good ones, like these, that we can really play with. The key with blocks is having enough of them that you can really build something fun. J&S does. That's a score for us, as when the kids are playing happily, we can read, talk, and think deeply. When Mama and Papa are happy and get good time with each other, it rubs off on the kids and they're happier too.
Of course, we also do a fair amount of playing too. By the by, do you see that little tower Ezra started there? He can stack four blocks! Gibbs did this particular big big big one all on his own! That's his hand about to place the next story.

Wearing Warm things!

We've had a cold snap and opened up the cedar chest to find our winter things! So refreshing to have a sharp chill in the air and seek comfort in our warm woolens. Ezra won't sit still for pictures these days, but Gibbie will!
Gibbie and Ezra are both sporting sweaters made by their grandmother Oma. Gibb's has a bunny on the pocket. The hat next to him is Oma's interpretation of a crazy, jester-type hat in a book they like to read together.
Ezra has on one of my favorite little cardigans. His hat and mittens I just made, inspired by the coming fall and thanks to a wonderful lady at our church who has given me some beautiful yarn. More of these projects to come. We tie all of our mittens on strings, as we will otherwise lose track of them immediately.
These are Evra's darling little socks. It is my firm belief that nothing will stay on a baby's feet unless it is tied on.
All the love knitted into these snuggly woolens will keep us warm all winter long! (along with an arsenal of extras of everything!)

Family Biking

We are getting somewhere in our quest to use biking as practical transportation for the family. The first thing we tried was having both boys in a bike trailer. Our toddler loves it, but the babe cried the whole way- "I'm distraught, scared, and in pain" kind of crying. Today was a big leap forward.

The innovation: wear the baby! It seems this is our answer to all baby dilemmas.
Why I loved it:
1.No crying
2. I've gotten really comfortable with wearing Ezra on my back. I knew he was secure.
3. He can look over my shoulder.
4. No crying. Did I mention that?
5. He sang! As I started biking, he began to croon.
6. My body absorbed the shocks of the road for him. I can accommodate for bumps, very much unlike the trailer
7. My mountain bike was a plus-- I usually hate leaning over, but it was great when he fell asleep, he had a perfect perch for his helmet-heavy head. His body also seemed to support my back a bit.
8. It was comfy for me.
9. I feel safer about him being able to see him and having him so close to me.

You can see in the picture an extra cloth tied over him. That's not holding him on. It's for sun protection. Earlier I had it up over his arms. The helmet mostly shades his eyes.

Note to self:
-install a handlebar mirror; it was tough to see well behind me on the side where his head was. Okay this time, as Paul was there, but I'd feel better with a mirror.
-Watch the gravel. I was extra careful about stuff I'd not normally care about. In an industrial area we went though, the bike lane was strewn with sand and gravel. Ditto for broken glass.
-Next time remember to tie up my pant cuff. These wide pant legs are perfect for catching in the chain.
Saint Paul is a great place for biking! We went to the other side of downtown and only had a few blocks where we weren't on a bike path or bike lane or small street. We are also so blessed to live in Frogtown, within close range of so much that we love. It's a very transit friendly neighborhood and except in the dead of winter, it's totally possible to get around without a car even with little kids in tow.
It is a beautiful day for biking! Down in the hollow it's cool and shady and oh-so-lovely.

Why do we take so long returning phone calls?

Rest assured, they are all better now. No, he's not a neglected orphan waiting for a new family. Our never-sick Ezra came down with something. A virus, a fever, an ear infection, thrush, a cough, and puffy, red, goopy eyes.


Before I had kids, I thought I would never let anyone in my family have snot on their face. Ever. I mean, why not just wipe it off?
It's because when the kid's already miserable, and liquids and semi-solids are pouring forth ceaselessly, a tender mama and papa just may not have the heart to attack his little face with the hankercheif again right now. It may only get wiped away periodically.
He spiked a fever of 103.9--luckily there was a doctor in the house (and more than one next door!) to assure and assist us.
Once again rested and well, thankfulness for all our working parts is renewed. We are so grateful.

More crawling thoughts

I'm just amazed at Ezra crawling. It's like a miracle every time he does it. It takes so much effort! Did you see the video clip? Well, it's much more suspenseful in person-- he makes these frustrated, distressed little noises, and his concentration is so intense; it takes every ounce of his power and coordination!

It's funny, I don't remember the first time Gibbie crawled on all fours. He was a slider. He slid for months on his belly, and boy, was he fast! He would drool and slide over his drool track, mopping up after himself; somewhere between a slug and a swiffer. He gradually transitioned into this more traditional crawl.

Ezra's been moving for a while, spinning on his belly, sit-to-lay extensions, inching forward or back by extreme reaching, clambering up on or over things; but he didn't really slide like Gibbie at all. I thought sliding was the natural precursor to crawling, but they each have to blaze their own trail.

Sunday Afternoon

This is Fiona (or, as Gibbie say it,"Finona"). She's Gibbie and Ezra's only cousin so far. She was a one of the benefits of our day not going according to plan. We had intended to spend today in my home town of Menomonie, WI, but the winter storm put and end to that. Instead, we spent the afternoon at Libby's parent's house.


When I told Gibbie that we were going to Oma's house, (Oma is his word for Libby's mom) he said "for my birthday?" Little did I know that he was right. She had a left-over present from last week: these great fringe pants and cowboy shirt!






Part of the beauty of being in a community of people, be it an extended family or not, is that people share responsibility. Just having someone trusted hold my baby for a while is such a relief! Here Doug is doing that for Robert and Natalie by taking Fiona for a while.



When I look back upon it, I'm delighted at how the afternoon passed without any entertainment except for each other's company. We didn't even get in a board game.If you want to read more about Fiona, look at her blog: littlemissfiona.blogspot.com